Why Can’t Others Accept Older Lovers
If it's hard for a child to accept their mother being physically familiar with their father, imagine how much harder it is for them to see a parent being intimate with someone who is not their mum or dad. Add to that the fact that both you and your partner have suffered bereavement. If your daughter hasn't seen you with another man since your husband died, it becomes much easier to understand why she finds it hard to 'cope' with your closeness to your new partner. alone after my husband died and thought I would never have sex again. Then, aged 72, I met my wonderful shamballa bead bracelet partner (a widower) and have fallen in love again like a teenager - but the rest of the world seems less are very tactile and strangers have muttered abuse when we kiss. My partner's children roll their eyes, and when I've tried to talk to my daughter about my love life (having listened to her romantic problems for years) she says she 'can't cope'.
Why are people so hostile to older lovers?Found love again: A 72-year-old reader is delighted with her new relationship, but her friends and family aren't so happy (posed by models)Do I think our society is ageist about love? Absolutely. We're told 'all the world loves a lover', but that doesn't ring true if the courting couples are 60-plus and don't restrict their PDAs (public displays of affection) to holding hands.Her first husband was a repressed man, so she felt free to experiment in bed only after her divorce, with a man she met online. Social networking has revolutionised dating for all age groups and it's the silver surfers who feel most liberated by the new possibilities. Having said that, it's important to say those people whose libido has diminished with age should feel free to live life at a gentler pace. The point about growing older is you finally have the confidence to make bold choices.
Finally, I want to say how thrilled I am that you have found love again. Your story is a timely reminder that there is no age limit to falling in love and feeling passion. Just remember in your bliss to be sensitive about the fact your families need time to adjust to the new landscape. When they have, I am sure they will share your joy.Having said that, perhaps you are being overly demonstrative for most people's tastes? Love makes people blind and you might be overstepping the usual boundaries without realising it. You say you feel 'like a teenager'. I can't help wondering if that extends to being oblivious to other people's feelings? Teens often ignore the fact you don't want them sticking their tongues down their boyfriend's throat when you are opposite them on a train. I'm no prude, but I'm not keen on people of any age chewing off each other's faces near children's distaste for your physical closeness to your partner is also hardly unusual. Most offspring are disdainful about any smooching on behalf of their parents. When one friend sat on her husband's knee in the kitchen and pecked him on the lips, her 13-year-old daughter said: 'Stop doing that - it's disgusting. I can't bring my friends home if you behave like that'.Your daughter's reluctance to discuss your partner is, on the face of things, unfair, but not unusual. She wants you to be her mum, not a girlfriend and confidante. You'd be better respecting her wishes.I want to make one thing clear: no one is telling you not to celebrate the wonder of falling in love again; just consider being less demonstrative in front of your family. Holding hands and a fond peck on the lips is the limit. If your behaviour has been limited to that sort of inoffensive caress, then I am very sorry you have faced such widespread censoriousness. The only way to counter such prejudice is by keeping your head held high and continuing to behave fondly. The UK's pension-age demographic is expanding and it's important to recognise it's commonplace for over-60s to have an active sex life.I was talking to a friend's 73-year-old mother the other day and she said she had the most sexually fulfilling relationship of her life in her late 60s.The young can be particularly scathing about older sweethearts, believing they have an exclusive entitlement to erotic love. One fortysomething married couple I know were recently in the back row at the cinema and enjoyed a passionate kiss halfway through the film. they said our Blind Date marriage would never last! Couple who met on Cilla Black's show celebrate 20-year anniversary The teenagers sitting in front of them whispered loudly: 'Yuck, old people snogging. That is so gross.' Unsurprisingly, there's even less tolerance to people in their 70s and 80s who have the temerity to kiss. There's a misconceived cultural prejudice which leads some people to think pensioners who have sex are behaving inappropriately.